Words on my heart

Friends.

This one takes up a lot of space. I am one lucky person!! I have been blessed with some of the greatest friends. And of all kinds!

Let's see, if memory serves me, there are more than I can count. And I'm not talking about my socials. I'm talking about every person that left their name, a tattoo on my heart.

Our time together was special, and I look back fondly, even on the ones that may not have ended on the best note.

What I have learned, is the ones that hurt the most, are the ones that teach us things about ourselves; so that we learn about what is not good for us.

It hurts because we are forced to let go of someone that is not meant to stay. Our minds tell us one thing and the heart says another. This is where the conflict always seems to be.

Just like love in a partnered relationship, friendship also takes time, effort and love. They also take forgiveness, patience, understanding. An open space that needs to be nurtured in order to thrive. If watered accordingly, it is a safe place to grow and a brave place to shine!

Of course, as we evolve from youth to adulthood, our friendships change. New adventures take us new places and the ones that are meant to stay, stay. Oh, yes, life may take them away here and there but when you know, you know that person will find their way home to you.

Today, I dedicate my words to all of the special people that have been an influence on me.

This goes from my very first friend on this planet, God rest her sweet soul. EKR - You helped save the little girl you met all those years ago. I hope you are one of my guardian angels, so I know you are always watching over her. I never got to say thank you.

My hometown friends are next. We may have all moved on but each of you were special to me. I knew that place wasn't my home then and that we wouldn't all be pals forever. We knew life would take us different places with different purpose. All our bike rides, prank phone calls, sleepovers, cruising weekend nights.

The list of memories plays on. The county fairs, playgrounds and midnight sneak outs. Thank you for being the friends I needed. My adolescent teen has each of your names carved on my heart. I know you know who you are. Some of us follow on the social medias, just to keep an eye that my friend is still doing time in this life on earth and that they are getting by.

This is where things get long - every coworker that I ever trauma bonded with!!

From retail, to banking, phone companies (landlines and dialups!), pharmacies, newspapers (the real printed kind) and for the longest and most current, social services.

The friends who became family. Shared weddings, births, deaths and divorces. The friends who stood by through illnesses and life changes. The ones that left and came back, even if fleetingly and those who came home to stay.

To the ones who helped build career me. The ones who acted as therapists, cheerleaders and co-conspirators, and the ones that advocated on my behalf. I will be there anytime you need me. I will support you for a lifetime, even though I knew I couldn't stay.

There are so many memories that I don't think there is space for all the humans that have helped write my story and if I could write them a letter, what would I say?

Truth is, I'm not sure I would. My circles have been many and the friends who were part of those versions of me, will never know me any differently. And that's okay. I will always be the version that they remember.

We had a contract written by the cosmos in a script our hearts would recognize. If I was sent to be a karmic lesson, I hope I taught you what you were meant to learn. If I was a blessing and you let me go, then I am here to tell you, I learned what I was supposed to know.

And to the friends that stand by my side now, with this new version of me, thank you for your light. Your love and support have been my life support. You have watered my heart and watched me grow into this new person and yet, you still accept this authentic me. Each of you, a word written in braille upon my heart. A word, typed in time.

Each of you, a necessary piece of poetry to my life inRhymes.

Thank you to all that were, all that are and to all of those I have yet to meet.

Love, Light & Friendship.