Will You Still?

How long is forever? It seems to be longer than it was for our ancestors, and it just keeps getting longer with the progression of humanity. Is it a realistic goal to believe you have one true love in a lifetime or are there possibly multiple? It's not like we know how life is going to turn out so why do we judge love so harshly?

I'm learning love can't be caught or forced but it sure loves to chase and be chased, does it not? I'm finding that my desires and need for love have changed drastically since I first became aware of the pleasures or pain it could bring.

They say in order to change your life; you have to change your thinking. Let me be a testament that is true but what they don't tell you is what happens in-between the two. Where you are and where do you want to go? The answer isn't in the destination; it's in the journey to how you get there. The past is only meant to be a series of lessons.

My life was in a dark place, and I didn't know if I was going to survive this massive shift in my life. So, I did what any sane person would do and started to look for internal signs of what happens next in my life, and I was scared.

The other thing I learned, is that when life gets dark, if we don't find a source of light, that is when our own light has the potential to go out. It turns out with a little hope the universe will deliver exactly what you need at just exactly the right time. It all changes with just one thought.

I got few chances left to explain what happened and how it began. But the story has been there from the start and there will be no peace until the story finishes what was started in the cards. Can you imagine the madness that came when I threw away the original script and started to redirect my life. I must follow my own compass, this isn't new. It's renewal, rebirth! Another chance to get my story right.

It may all seem crazy to the people around me, but I know what is out there waiting for me. It's always been and that is where my story is about to begin. You see, this is an end for this version of me. For it is in the words of an angel that I know who it is I am meant to be, and this has all been a designed part of the journey.

I know one day, the people I love are going to wonder how it all happened and oddly enough, they were all there with me to bear witness to the truth. They will one day tell their stories of how it all happened, but they will never know the whole story because it isn't theirs to tell.

My confession is this.

"I did it all for love, in the name of love, and because of love. Love has led me every step of the way in this life. I have received and given the kind of love that was needed with each version of me and that version of me will love you forever."

"But will you still love me when you learn my truth?"

"I have a dream in my heart of a love only the universe can help me find and I had found it in you as was previously designed. You and I were meant to have our time but the people we are, we are meant to change with the passing of time."

"But will you still love this new version of me?"

"This she with new thoughts, dreams and boundaries; this woman, who now sees the world differently. Maybe this nightmarish dream was given to me to get me through a hard time; because how did I just wake up one day and decide I wanted to be a poet, a writer, a humanitarian, when I was already a wife and mother, a perfect example of life and love gone right and wrong. And I have been each of these all along."

"But will you still love me now that you have seen all of my ugly?"

You see, I have been loving people and this human experience since I can remember the start of my life. I have given and received as was written in the stars so that I could be right here in this moment of time, knowing it is all going to be all right. No matter how my soundtrack of one hit wonders ends, I know there is a plan, and it will arrive right on time and a new version of me will begin. I believe there is more life of me to give!

But for now, the moral of my story is that I have been my own nightmare in red because I burn with a fiery passion and lust for life. My favorite color may be the rainbow, but I live for love and love's color is and always will be Red. My soul knows that love is the key and love is the answer. Love is our reason for everything we do, but it's in the choices other people don't see that will define your life when the last song has played.

Dear Universe, let the kind of love that ties my heart in knots find me so that I may live out the rest of my destiny and love unconditionally until the end!

Thus, the never-ending Nightmare in Red.

Until next time,

inRhymes.com

"Will You Still" can be found in the "Eternal Ties" Collection.