I quit.

Giving up vs. letting go

One could think these two things are comparable but think again.

Sometimes I wish I could just quit life like a game. Not winning, flip the board and walk away. Don't like the odds or your opponents, quit, just walk away. Don't like the hand your dealt, fold and what? Just walk away!

Through life, I've had to do both. I've been given other dreams to pursue I didn't know were on my journey. It's funny how life turns out in ways our youthful selves would never have guessed or planned. The pit stops and all its plot twists and turns.

Today's game is Battleship. Life is like being tossed back and forth on a raging sea in a ship that is about to capsize. What happens when we are thrown overboard?

I have been fighting against the tides in life for as long as I can remember but looking back, I see most of the time it was because I never really learned how to swim. I think it's high time to learn. I always thought treading water is safer than trying to swim and make waves. At least if I keep my head above water, nobody else will notice because they are drowning too. We are the bobbers in this sea of life just pushing one another down and out of the way so that we ourselves can stay afloat.

I have quit on things that have defeated me. I have quit things I have defeated. But quitting doesn't change the feeling when you are taking on water. Sometimes it makes it better and other times it can be worse. Other times it is only meant to bring discomfort for things to change and be different. It's how we evolve in humanity.

I'm tired of bobbing and there is no one in sight. "I quit" is kind of like the balance beam between drowning or putting on a life jacket. It can save a life or take it. Who chooses when your body only knows how to perform this one action to stay above water.

Learning to let go, now that has been a challenge. I want to let go of quitting and just move into where I am meant to go. This learning and growth through self-reflection hurts like salt rubbed in the opened wounds I thought I had closed. Letting go of pain and trauma from things I had no control over in the first place. Now letting go is where the power is. This is where peace is found. No more F's to give.

Today, I throw it all into the "F%&k it" bucket.

I'm learning to let go of the things that have caused my heart and mind pain through the years. I have had to fight for myself in ways that are unique to my journey, and I embrace them all. My struggles are no different than yours as we are all meant to experience things on different levels of our lifetime. It is what we choose to do with those old wounds is where we learn to save ourselves.

As humans, we believe we can control outcomes. We change the world by elimination only to have a new problem to "solve or fix". If we stopped trying to fix everything, we would fare better. Believing in ourselves is a great place to start. To let go of nonsense that damages our view of the world and life.

Life is a beautiful gift that is often missed in the living of it. - inRhymes

I'm done listening to the evil in this world and I'm letting go of the need to control my outcome. Sometimes the only person you can save is yourself. Even if someone throws you a line, that line could snap and break at any time before you are pulled in. Sometimes the forces around you are stronger and you get pulled under.

I have dreams that I can't stop dreaming so I'm learning to swim. I will get myself safe to shore and when I do, I will know it's my time to shine. I would offer to throw you a line, but I can't promise the rod and reel can hold your weight and mine.

What I will do is teach you how to swim and then it's up to you. With a little hope and faith, you'd be surprised what happens when you teach yourself to swim.

The water lessens and you find that you were on land the whole time.

What do you want to let go of? I'll see you on the beach.

Until next time.

Love, Light and Letting Go

"Letting Go" can be found in the "Life's Vinyl" Collection