Guilty

I am.

I am guilty. I am taking accountabilities for all the things I have done wrong but I'm finally learning to be guilty of all the good things I have done right, too.

What I have discovered, is I am whatever I want to be and what other people think isn't my concern. I believe our opinions are based on our own perspective and when you get a bunch of opinions that think similar thoughts, expert opinions are created. But these opinions are meant to guide us into making safe decisions, they aren't meant to dictate how we live.

If someone else has an opinion on my life and the way I live it, then I must be doing something right. If nobody cares, then I must be doing something right. I don't spend time thinking about what others do and honestly, as long as no harm comes to other humans, animals or this planet.... you do you and I'll be over here doing what I do. I have no opinion on how you should do life, I'm barely doing it myself.

I've been accused of things I didn't do, and I have paid penalties of the soul from man-made rules and to be honest, those are the soul lessons we are here to navigate in living. Choosing between what is reality and what is meant to be spiritually. The purpose is being guilty of choice. Choice to hate or love. There is nothing in between except perception.

I am guilty of not being the girl next door. I am guilty of being the girl you don't take home.

I am guilty of the words I have thrown like daggers to cover my own pain; but I am also guilty of love that has no end.

I am guilty of so many choices that didn't go the way I wanted them to, but in the end, I see now, the other option would have been no good for me, so maybe I was guilty of doing what was considered the best choice; for me.

I am guilty to being a rule follower but still guilty of bending the rules.

I am guilty of trying to fit in, but I am guilty of blazing my own way.

I am guilty of things I am greatly sorry for, but I am also guilty of asking forgiveness when I am wrong.

I am guilty of being the calm and the storm. But at the end of my day, when I close my eyes, it is between me, myself and I, whether I will sleep soundly or not at night, and whether I will let my guilt chase me in the shadows of daylight.

I will be guilty of looking upon the decisions I have made, and I have to live with them. We cannot get through life without being guilty of something, we are guilty in the good and bad of every situation we find ourselves in.

We are guilty of being both light and dark. I embrace my guilt, a demon to silence in the dark. If I look at the why, I might just figure out what exactly I am guilty of.

Until next time,

Love, Light and Guilt

inRhymes