Colors

What does that word invoke in you? I have mentioned before that I am GenX to my core and I will never be sorry for the experiences I have had in life.

I forgive my family for the things they didn't or couldn't provide. I forgive those who were responsible for my formative years that missed the cues. I forgive the world for being cruel.

I believe this world is stuck in Black and White because the colors in between are confusing and the palette is extensive. Crayola knew what was up when they created the box with 96 colors and now how do you decide which color is yours?

This is a topic that will bring war amongst friends. It is a topic that will never go away until we stop finger pointing, blaming and living in our pasts. It is a topic that will tear people apart until it is no longer a topic.

I wrote this poem after attending a training in my previous life and when I look back, I think this may be where the direction of my path changed.

What people may or may not know about me, they assign to me by the color of my skin. They look at me and decide who I am before they even get to know me. It has been this way for as long as I can remember.

I AM different. I have been since the very beginning. I am not black nor am I white and for some reason, it is my job to explain it to you by putting myself in a color box. In a world that makes you check a color it is hard to fit in when the color isn't there to describe you. Why don't we just have a gray box? For all the lost and forgotten misfits that sit in silence that don't get to be one or the other.

If you are wearing white, then you own the world and everything in it? Is that what history has taught us? Being white is a privilege and the world is expecting you to carry it as the curse it is. I can speak of this, because everyone told me I was white.

If you are wearing black, well I just can't speak on this in the way I would like to, but it isn't my experience to bring to light because what do I know? I'm not black, just look at me.

What I can say, is that I have a pretty good idea of just how bad it can be if you aren't wearing white. The injustices of humanity run deep. I am not ignorant to the plight of our ancestors.

You cannot have one without the other and without both of them, there cannot be an in between. So where does that leave the rest of us on the spectrum if we don't identify as either? Where do we put ourselves in the crayon box?

In erasing history, we are erasing the very actions of those that came before that risked their lives to right the wrongs. The information and data we have now was not available back then. Shouldn't that mean something in the rewriting of history? I guess not. No good deed goes unpunished I suppose.

If white is the reflection of color and black is the absorber of color, then maybe it's high time that we stop checking boxes and dividing ourselves. We allow ourselves to continue to be divided by buying into the narrative that color matters.

I will be the first to say. I see black and white. I see colors too. I am not color blind. I decided when I didn't fit into the boxes provided, I would make my own.

I decided I would be colorful! A pop of color in this world of black and white. I will be them all. Why? Because I can. Because I am. I am Monochrome. I am light and I am dark. I am Yin and Yang. I am Balance. I am a rainbow of colors! I am you and you are me, regardless of the protective suit I see you wearing.

I can tell you that I know the hurtful words people say because I am different. I have known the cruel teasing of kids that didn't know the true words of racism. I have been called out for the bronze summer tans. I have been called out all the same for when the end of summer tan fades. I have been assaulted for being different, so I have an idea of the pain. I know the sting of rejection, disappointment and fear.

I also know how fortunate I was for the privilege of protections that I had available to me at the time. I will say though, it didn't feel that much like privilege but rather punishment. So, I sit here confused with nowhere to feel safe in my own skin.

I don't blame those that didn't know the difference then, but I will most certainly blame those that are still pushing the narrative that color matters. I can tell you that it really doesn't because shitty people come in all colors. It's the nature of the beast.

Your color isn't any different than mine because inside we are all made of light and dark. We are all black and white. The color of your suit isn't of my concern; I want to see the light that I know shines from within. The color of our skin shouldn't make us vulnerable for it is just a cover that was designed to protect us, not divide us.

I am not buying the narrative that says any different. The color of our skin just determines the purpose we come into this life to live. Your training will not teach me anything different because I have life experience that says so.

You can't teach human kindness. You must choose to see all the colors, not just live in the absence or absorption of others.

And if I touched a nerve, I have taken Equity and Inclusion training. It taught me insufficient and incomplete data, not empathy. That is something you just can't teach.

Until next time, just be a Rainbow of color!

I know my LGBTQI+ community gets it! Shine on my friends!

No more just black and white.

Love, Light and Colors

inrhymes.com

"Colors" can be found in the Collective Connections Collection