Doing Time

A prisoner of my own mind. I can't concentrate or type a single damn word in self-defense. Punished for a crime I was blindly accused by another choice no one else could see. What would they say if they knew the other choice would have been the death of me?

I do not fear a jury of my peers or care what the prosecution thinks they have as proof. Dare I say a prayer of contrition for the sins I keep close to my chest or just let my soul fall straight into the flames of hell for eternal rest?

Do I remain silent for my own good or do I stand tall and shout out the other side of the story just to have the judgement of others decide what's the truth? I sit in the cell of indecision between right and wrong, not knowing which one will save me or cost me my self-worth. My body a rusting cage, keeping my heart on lockdown and my mind isolated in a solitary confinement making of its own.

Am I guilty of all the things I've been accused or is my guilt a place of comfort for you? Guilty until proven innocent in all I think and do until I'm told which one I am to you. I know the choices placed before me and I'm only guilty of covering up the lies I told for you. Here I sit doing time in solitude knowing I would do it all again if it meant loving you.

Even if I'm the only one who knew about the secret of me and you, that doesn't mean I'm guilty, but that does leave the question of you. I never meant to hurt you or break your heart, so put my confession in permanent ink and sentence me to death. I'm not afraid because the pain will go to another place and I will be freed from this empty nest.

Exploring the darker side of my unrequited lover, should we ever cross paths again, I will mindfuck you into being my prisoner. I will crawl around inside your head and become the one you can't forget. I will steal your heart and outrun myself, leaving you behind to get caught and charged. I will put your love on trial and punish you for the crime, let you take the fall and do the time instead.

My intimate thoughts about the punishments of love. Love is only a prison if we make it one. Love was never meant to cage or clip one's wings, but to let us soar high with a companion that makes the journey worth it. Choose wisely, before love makes a prisoner out of you.

Until next time.

T. McB.