Addiction

We are all addicted to something, at some time in our life. Whether we go through phases of addiction where we just trade one for another or if we stick to "the one" that works for us. Even if in that reality, it's not really working but our denial tells us otherwise.

I struggle with this word. If I had an addiction, it would be love. I just want more of it all of the time. Yes, it will be love that is the death and destruction of me.

My life has been touched by moments where addiction could have been my downfall. It has touched people I love. I have watched alcohol destroy more lives than any drug (legal or illegal) so I could say I am lucky that I do not know the true depths of this word.

I am not a therapist or a doctor, but I am a human with feelings and emotions that I don't want to feel or think. I want to disassociate from traumatic events. There are things that have left scars on my body and mind, but it is the ones on my heart that hurt the most.

I am learning that I can mask my symptoms when I see the signs. It's the side effects that leave me craving more and I will keep going back, because love has no cure.

As far as the other things we choose to become dependent upon, is just masking what we are ignoring inside of ourselves. We hide from what is inside us. We hide behind our addictions to not face our truth.

I've been facing my truth, which is what has been leading me here. Day after day though this journey to finding out who I am really am.

Just when I think I know, she changes the narrative. She rewrites her story. I didn't put to rest the demons that keep me in the cycle of my addiction, I have made peace with them. I walk with them instead of keeping them in the shadows.

I will hold your hand if you choose to face yours. The work is hard, it is painful, and it gets real dark. What are you hiding from? We all have secrets, but sometimes, it is those painful ones that keep us from finding our freedom from those very things that keep us prisoner.

We cage ourselves by letting others define the standards by which we should live. The clothes we wear, the music we listen to, the shows we stream, who we cancel, who we support. Where does it stop, and we listen to our own heart about what is good for us as an individual human?

So, if we fix everyone else's imperfections, we don't have to address our own, right? Unless you have a walked a mile in someone else's shoes, that's how the saying goes.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, there is help out there. You don't have to do it alone and as long as I'm here, you will never be alone.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. But if you do, take it. Loved ones want to help, but we can't help you if you aren't willing. Let us love you through it until you can love yourself.

Love, Light and Asking for Help can save your life. Your life of purpose. We wait for you.