The Y in the Road

It has finally happened. I have come to the Y in the road. The one where my present meets my past and the only way to go now is forward. I have spent the last nine months hiding from the world. Trying not to be seen or heard from and I have strayed away from the circle.

Things I used to love no longer hold my attention, and life has taken some twists and turns that were unexpected. The terrain has been rocky and unpredictable, and times weren't always good, but it has been an exciting ride with memories to last a lifetime.

The only choice left is to take the next step forward, but I suddenly feel stuck. What if what I see at the end of the road is just a mirage and it has all been a big waste of time?

I can't go back to the way it was but what if what I believe I see waiting for me, isn't a pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow but yet another trip down the rabbit hole?

But what if it is? What if everything I have been working so hard for is waiting for me at the end? What if the dreams I have in my head are finally coming to fruition and it's my turn to win at this game of life. What if?

Can a person really have it all? Can there be a healthy balance to the responsibilities of family and career? Can the past and the present lead me into the future that extends just within my reach? The dangling carrot just waiting for me to catch it.

I am standing at the Y, and it looks like a solitary road ahead but when I turn around and see the paths left behind, I find strength to keep going because of the people I have supporting me, and life is only getting better. Not gonna lie though some days are harder than others, but I made a choice to make a change and there is no turning back now.

I don't consider any of the lessons to have been a waste of time because I have much to still learn about life, and I have a bucket list of things to see and do. There are still good times to be had, new adventures to take, new friends to make and lots of laughter and love to be felt. There are dreams to make come true! The ones that were made on shooting stars and wishes blowing out the candles on my birthday cakes.

Tonight, I will let my soul rest. Tomorrow, I will step the next step into the life I have been creating here in the dark, and I will stop doubting my life's direction. I will continue to let the universe guide me and keep doing my best.

I will keep going, whether I pass or fail the next test.

Until next time,

T. McB